THE NEW LABOUR GUIDE TO YULETIDE

WE'VE been celebrating Christmas happily for almost 2,000 years. But it surely won’t be long before Labour decides that the festivities need to be updated in line with its values.

In the spirit of festive fun, let me offer you a sneak preview of what to expect: Schools Secretary Ed Balls, aided by the newly established quango the Faith Initiative And Safety Committee

Organisation (FIASCO), has been beavering away on a glossy booklet setting out the responsible way to enjoy the season.

Set out below are its main conclusions.

Before placing any decorations on the tree, conduct a full risk assessment of the premises.

Fairy lights may only be installed in the home by a qualified electrician. They must also be inspected regularly by the Health and Safety executive.

Paper hats have been banned as a potential fire hazard under the European Union’s new Dangerous Headgear regulations. Instead hard hats must be worn at all times by those sitting at the dining table.

Ensure that your Faith event dinner complies with anti-obesity guidelines issued by the Food Standards Agency. Turkeys must be weighed and checked for fat content by the local authority healthy-eating co-ordinator. Plum puddings may only be consumed under licence.

On Faith event Day plus one (previously known as Boxing Day), all citizens are required to have their
body mass index examined. Those deemed to have over- indulged will be subject to an ingestion charge.

Under Harriet Harman’s equality Order kissing under the mistletoe has been decreed a form of sexual harassment. This regulation, however, does not apply to same-sex couples.


You have got to read the rest of this article !

0 comments:

Powered By Blogger

Thank you for visiting Barnsley Nationalists.

© IF IT ISN’T LISTED BELOW IT STILL COUNTS!!! YOU KNOW ALL THE USUAL LEGALITIES AND STUFF.

WHEN YOU SUBMIT COMMENTS OR ARTICLES TO THIS BLOG YOU ARE ALLOWING US TO RE-PUBLISH YOUR WORK, IF YOU HAVE ANY CONCERNS OR WISH THAT YOUR COMMENTS ARE NOT USED IN FUTURE POSTS, PLEASE EMAIL US BEFORE POSTING SO WE MAY CONSIDER IF OR NOT YOUR COMMENT CAN BE PUBLISHED.

WE ACCEPT NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR COMMENTS ONCE THEY ARE PUBLISHED.

BARNSLEY NATIONALISTS TAKES NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR OUTSIDE COMMENTS PUBLISHED ON THIS BLOG OR ANY COMMENTS ON ANY SITE THAT THIS BLOG LINKS TO.

WE TRY TO MODERATE COMMENTS TO THE BEST OF OUR ABILITY; HOWEVER SOME COMMENTS MAY PASS UN-DETECTED AND THEREFORE CANNOT BE HELD AGAINST US.

BARNSLEY NATIONALISTS ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY CONTENT AND MAY NOT AGREE WITH THE CONTENT OF THE SITES THAT WE LINK TO FROM THIS BLOG.

THE BRITISH NATIONAL PARTY HAVE NO SAY ON WHAT IS PUBLISHED ON THIS BLOG AND ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR IT'S CONTENT OR OUR VIEWS, WE ARE AFTER ALL, ONLY INDIVIDUALS WHO ARE ALLOWED (AT THE TIME OF WRITING) TO EXPRESS OUR OWN OPINIONS

.
.
.
.

.



BACK TO TOP OF PAGE


...
...
...
....
..
...
...
.....
....
....
.......
....
...
...
...
....
.....
....
...
...
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
..
.

.
.
.
..

..

..

..
.
.
.
.
.

..
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..

..

..
.
.
.
.
....
.
...
.
...
.
.
.
.

.
..

.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
..
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.

..

.
.
.
..
.
...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.



Bookmark and Share
CONTACT US
BY EMAIL
Rivers of Blood




GOT A COMPLAINT? RING...